Infidelity does not have a single explanation. And although it may be tempting to look for differences between men and women, the reasons that lead someone to cheat are far more complex than gender.

Emotional or sexual dissatisfaction, the desire to feel desired again, resentment, the search for novelty or simply attraction to someone else may all lie behind infidelity.

So, what can lead a woman to be unfaithful?

1. Resentment or a desire for revenge

Discovering infidelity can deeply shake trust in a relationship. Some people end the relationship; others try to rebuild it; and some respond with another act of infidelity.

In these cases, infidelity may arise as a form of revenge: “I want you to feel what I felt.”

But resentment does not stem only from infidelity. Repeated lies, broken promises, disrespect or situations that destroy trust can also create emotional distance between a couple.

The problem is that cheating to hurt someone rarely resolves what was already wrong. It usually adds a new wound to the relationship.

2. Sexual dissatisfaction

Routine, stress, tiredness, children, work and so many other concerns can cause sex life to take a back seat.

And it is not just about the amount of sex.

There may be frequent sex and, even so, dissatisfaction: a lack of pleasure, little variety, differences in desire, difficulty talking about fantasies or the feeling that only one person's needs are valued.

When this dissatisfaction continues and there is no communication, some people may feel tempted to look outside the relationship for what they feel is missing within it.

Before it gets to that point, there is a far more powerful tool: talking about sex.

What do you like? What do you not like? What would you like to try? What has changed in your desire?

These conversations may be uncomfortable at first, but they make an enormous difference.

3. The need to feel desired

As the years go by, it is easy to stop saying things that at the beginning seemed natural:

“You look beautiful.”
“I love that perfume.”
“You look amazing in that outfit.”
“I desire you.”

When someone comes along who pays attention, gives compliments, flirts and shows interest, that attention can be especially appealing to someone who no longer feels desired in their own relationship.

It does not mean that receiving a compliment automatically leads someone to cheat. But feeling seen, valued and desired is important in a relationship — for women and men.

4. Emotional need

They may live in the same house, sleep in the same bed and yet still feel emotionally distant.

When work, mobile phones, problems or simply routine take up all the space, a couple may begin to function more as a team managing everyday life than as romantic partners.

It is in this distance that, sometimes, someone else begins to take up space.

First come the conversations. Then the confidences. The feeling of being understood. The desire to be with that person. And what began as an emotional connection may cross the boundaries defined in the relationship.

5. A desire for novelty

Not all infidelity happens because there is something deeply wrong in the relationship.

Sometimes there is curiosity, attraction, opportunity or a desire to feel again the intensity associated with the beginning of a new romance.

Novelty can be exciting precisely because it is different from everyday life.

This does not justify infidelity, but it helps explain why someone may be unfaithful even while saying they still love their partner.

6. Attraction to someone else

Yes, it can also simply be attraction.

Women, like men, can feel desire and physical attraction towards other people even when they are in a relationship.

Being committed does not mean automatically stopping noticing others. The difference lies in what each person decides to do with that attraction and in the boundaries established by the couple.

After all, is it possible to avoid infidelity?

There is no formula that can guarantee that someone will never be unfaithful — and responsibility for infidelity always lies with the person who chooses to cross the boundaries of the relationship.

But there are behaviours that help build stronger relationships: communication, trust, affection, intimacy, attention and a sex life in which both people feel heard.

Also talk about what you consider to be cheating. For some people, it is only sex; for others, a kiss, sexting, dating apps or a hidden emotional connection already cross the line.

And do not leave these conversations until something goes wrong.

A good relationship is not one in which there are never any problems. It is one in which there is space to talk about them — including when the subject is sex, desire and pleasure.