When they were dating, everything seemed perfect. Sex was good and intense, they laughed about everything, played around all the time and each other’s company was exactly what they wanted.

But, as the relationship became more serious and they decided to move in together, all that intensity and excitement of the early days gradually began to fade.

Love, however, was still there. Strong. So strong that they decided to have a baby. A child, the fruit of that love, whom they imagined would bring them even closer together.

But it does not always happen that way.

As time went by, they began to feel increasingly distant. Communication diminished, moments alone together became rare and sex... almost disappeared.

Until the discovery comes: he cheated on her.

And with it inevitably come the questions: Why? What happened? Did all the love, dedication and history they built together mean nothing?

So, why do men cheat, after all?

“Because sex is more important to them than family and love.”

“Because they think more with the head below than the one above.”

These are answers we hear often. But reality is far more complex.

There is no single reason that explains infidelity. There may be emotional or sexual dissatisfaction, a need for validation, a search for novelty, communication problems, insecurity, difficulty dealing with routine or simply opportunity and a lack of boundaries.

And there is something important we must not forget: the reasons may help us understand infidelity, but they do not justify it.

It is not always just about sex

Contrary to what is often thought, a man who cheats is not necessarily looking only for sex.

He may be looking for attention, affection, romance, compliments or that feeling of being desired and won over again.

In a long-term relationship, it is easy to let the little gestures disappear. Kisses become less frequent, compliments cease to exist and the couple begin to function more like a team responsible for managing a home, bills, work and children than like two people in love.

And, without realising it, they may begin to drift apart.

And when sex is lacking?

A lack of sexual intimacy can also become a problem when one member of the couple feels desire and the other does not.

Tiredness, stress, responsibilities, routine and parenthood can greatly reduce the frequency and quality of intimate moments.

When sex happens only “because it has to”, without desire, seduction or a genuine connection between the two, frustration can set in.

For some people, constant sexual rejection can be interpreted as a lack of interest and lead to feelings of insecurity or of not feeling desired.

But take note: a lack of sex never makes someone responsible for their partner’s infidelity. If there is dissatisfaction, the healthy path is through communication and jointly seeking solutions.
After having children, the couple also need to continue to exist

The arrival of a child completely transforms the dynamics of a relationship.

There is less time, less rest, new responsibilities and, often, less availability to take care of ourselves and the relationship.

It is natural.

The problem arises when the couple completely stop making space for themselves.

Children are an incredibly important part of the family, but a relationship still exists beyond parenthood. There are still two people who need to talk, laugh, touch each other, date and feel that they are important to one another.

And taking care of ourselves is also essential — not to please a partner or avoid infidelity, but for our own well-being and self-esteem.

Do not let the relationship live on routine alone

Communication remains one of the most important foundations of any relationship.

If you feel that you are drifting apart, do not wait for the distance to become enormous. Talk. Ask how the other person feels and also say what you are missing.

Try to reclaim the small moments that have been forgotten: a dinner just for the two of you, a longer kiss, an unexpected message during the day, a compliment, a date or simply an evening without mobile phones and distractions.

It is not only women who like to feel pampered, desired and valued. Men also need affection, attention, recognition and demonstrations of love.

Ultimately, a relationship is not sustained merely because love exists.

Love needs attention, communication, intimacy and the willingness to keep choosing the same person — every day.

​CUPIDOSSHOP.COM